Blood and money - Let it flow
Why women might feel at odds with 'business as usual'
Recently, I took a walk with a neighbor in the middle of the day just because the sun was shining. She and I are different. We come from different backgrounds, have different ways of being in the world, and we seem to be manifesting very different futures. But we live next door to each other. Our kids go to school together, and we both have new babies born just a few weeks apart. Life often puts us in each other’s paths, and we always seem to find common ground, even if it’s a small patch to stand on together. When I buy kid-sized bottles of bubbles, I buy a couple of extra for her kids too. One day, when I was heavily pregnant and overworked, she left 10 pieces of sushi at my front door with a note that said, Take a few minutes to eat. We are friends, I think. Yet the kind of friends who can’t truly be ourselves. I guard my words, and she guards hers too. We don’t want to judge or be judged. We are different after all. There is an unspoken code of conduct if you know what I mean. An invisible shield between us. Unspoken, invisible, yet mutually understood.
So I was taken aback when, during our walk, after a long silence hung between us, she suddenly asked me a question about my period.
I answered her question, yet got the feeling that there was more to it. So I offered a little bit more. She prodded lightly, and I answered, and then we hit a wall. A wall that was quickly erected when she said, “Yeah it’s a bit strange we know so little about our cycles. But it’s probably best we don’t.”
Periods unite all women
Around the world, throughout time, no matter what our circumstances, every woman will begin to bleed and keep bleeding for approximately 500 cycles in her lifetime. 500 times, every woman will see blood, smell blood, be stained with blood, be sustained by blood.
Our menstrual cycles are much more than blood though. Blood is simply one phase of the cycle. A cycle that follows the same birth-death-rebirth cycles we find everywhere in nature. Women embody this cycle every month, because our bodies are designed to create and sustain life. They are millions of years of evolutionary genius, and I do mean absolute genius. If you stop and ponder the menstrual cycle, it is nothing short of a marvel.
And yet, for most of us, there is a lot of negative emotions that flow along with our cycle. At best, feelings of dread, inconvenience, annoyance, maybe embarrassment. At its worst, there are feelings of shame, humiliation, or even contempt. These feelings can arise at the first sign of blood, or even at the sheer mention of the words menstruation or period.
Perhaps this is why my neighbor said “it’s probably best we don’t” know much about it.
We’ve inherited ideas about our menstrual cycle. And along with it, we’ve inherited ideas about women.
You can’t separate women from their menstrual cycles any easier than you can separate humans from the cycles of nature. But oh how we have tried.
We have lived by these stories of separation for so long that we cannot fathom any other reality.
Patriarchy is so engrained in us now that we have forgotten the intrinsic rhythms that are encoded into world - and into our very own bodies.
We have forgotten because we have overridden our cycle too many times, or tried to at least. Which is yet another huge win for patriarchy, because women are lost without this connection to our bodies. And if women are lost, if we don’t believe in our own inherent wisdom and worthiness, then we will be far less capable of stepping into our power and purpose.
Understanding the mechanics of menstruation
I’ve written about seasons of the year before – how everything in nature follows the spring-summer-autumn-winter cycles.1 From water to plants, and animals, and yes, humans too. Anything that has a ‘life’ has a cycle. And these cycles have a natural flow of energy that we can align ourselves with, flowing with it or pushing against it.
As women, we experience four cycles each month. They are governed by the moon, which is where the term ‘moon cycle’ comes from. In fact, before electricity, the vast majority of women ovulated during full moons and bled when the moon was dark. Our hormonal systems were in sync with the lunar rhythms (via glands in our brains that sent messages to our uteruses). Women in primitive societies, or women living in the countryside, are still more likely to ovulate during full moons than women who live in cities, where artificially bright nights disrupt this synchronicity with the moon.
Our menstrual cycle follows the same rhythm as every other cycle in life: birth, growth, full bloom, harvest, decay, death, rebirth. Over and over again. Spring (birth, growth), summer (full bloom, early harvest), autumn (late harvest, decay), winter (death, rebirth).
Each part of the cycle is charged with a different energy, just as the seasons of the year are. Each offers and requires different things from us.
Week 1 - Winter – begins on the first day of bleeding. This is the death and rebirth phase. It is the quiet introspection of late winter when we dream instead of do. It is a time for integrating things we learned previously in the cycle – and make adjustments for the future. As the week comes to an end, there could be first signs of early spring – the feeling of rebirth that is always inherent in death.
Week 2 – Spring – pre-ovulation is a time of renewed energy that can often feel chaotic as everything awakens and ideas surge. Creatively, it is about sowing seeds and growing those little seedlings. We might put more effort into our physical appearance in the same way we feel feel an urgency to ‘clean up’ our garden in the spring, prepare it for full bloom beauty. Our fertility is budding. Not just for making human babies, but all of those other creative ‘babies’ too - ideas, insights, offerings to the world.
Week 3 – Summer – the peak of the cycle, when we ovulate and then come down from ovulation. We are at our most fertile, in full bloom, an egg is released, life takes its chance. This is a time for birthing ideas and creative projects into the world. Towards the end of the week, we might begin to see the fruits of our labor, collecting things that are quick to harvest.
Week 4 – Autumn – time to reap what we have sown. And prepare to make necessary adjustments for the next cycle. How well did we rest during winter? Did we come back strong? What did we sow in spring? How well have we cared for ourselves? Did we grow well during summer? Our answers to these questions will show up now. Whether we ask for them or not, they will show up. It can be positive (enjoying our harvest) or negative (the infamous PMS). We go inward to process and reflect.
Now you can see how a woman’s needs change depending on where she is in her cycle. One week, we have endless energy and are highly productive. Another week we withdraw, slow down, tune into our inner wisdom. If we ignore our body’s needs, we get the infamous mood swings associated with PMS. Over time, the more tuned out we become to what our body is asking for, the more likely we are to get stuck in old patterns and ways of being. We need the death-rebirth phase in order to stay whole, to keep thriving.
You can also see how one stage of our cycle leads to the next. How we take care of ourselves during week 1 determines the level of energy we experience in week 3. Likewise, how we honor one full cycle determines how we experience the next cycle. It’s ongoing. All connected. Being born and reborn again and again.
The menstrual cycle is a cycle to base your life around. In fact your life is based around your menstrual cycle whether you realize it or not, whether you pay attention to it or not. And everyone who lives under the same roof is under the influence of the menstrual cycles of the women who live there.
– Jane Hardwicke Collings
Our menstrual cycle gives us enormous insight – not just of our bodies and its needs, but into all the other cycles we’re tied to. In indigenous cultures, the bleeding phase was considered sacred and transformative. Women retreated to their ‘red tents’ while bleeding, and often returned from their red tents with new insights that were vital to the tribe’s survival and prosperity.
When did we begin to experience it as a curse? Because it is a gift. A gateway into the alchemical process of life itself.
It is the creative force within each and every woman. Not just for making babies, but for birthing ideas and insights that the world needs. It is what tethers us to innate power and unique purpose, our raison d'etre.
To dismiss our menstrual cycle is to dismiss our own creative well-being, and ultimately dismiss our true nature.
Being at odds with ‘business as usual’
Capitalism denies the natural cycles we’re tied to. There can be no winter in capitalism after all. No time for reflection or rest. Our economic systems are linear. Sure there is a flow of capital. But the flow of capital must be ‘in full bloom’ productive summer mode all year round. It needs to follow an upward trending line. Just up and up, or you’re out. It’s life and death only. Money made, money spent. Even though money actually flows in a circle too,2 capitalism denies it.
There has been talk of a circular economy, one that’s more balanced, more aligned with how the rest of life works. But the old business paradigms still rule. Capital is a metric of power rather than energetic flow. Corporations are still “worlds designed for men.” They are linear, rational, concerned with getting something done. Whereas feminine energy is non-linear, emotional, concerned with how all things flow. Neither is better than the other. We all contain varying percentages of both. The problem is that we’ve designed systems and societies that extol one and negate the other.
Studies show that, for so many women, the constraints of corporate structures lead to physical, mental, and emotional crisis.3 In order for women to function in these environments, we have to completely override our nature, day in and day out. Which isn’t sustainable.
There is literally nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so do not expect yourself to do so.
We might acknowledge that capitalism isn’t sustainable to the planet, but what about to our own bodies?
There’s this notion that women must pick themselves up and keep on working, because other women fought hard to give them this opportunity. We can play the game now, ladies. We can achieve all the things that only men could previously achieve, including financial independence. And yet “it was that idea – that a brilliant brain must be offered up on the sacrificial altar of capitalism” that also makes so many women miserable at work.4
So we find ourselves at a different crossroads now. We find ourselves asking, how do we define success? Women are quickly burnt out and unmotivated in traditional corporate worlds – and naturally so! We don’t feel like ourselves, because we our fundamental rhythms and needs are ignored. And we blame ourselves for that. We let it confirm the notion that we’re just not cut out to be leaders. That something is wrong with us.
But I beg you, please, for just a few minutes, let’s flip the story. Let’s ask some different questions.
Because what if there is something right with us?
What if we could be MORE creative and productive by following the natural cycles and seasons inherent in our own bodies?
What if “success” in business (and in life) didn’t have to look like linear progress? What if it look more like a spiral flowing in cycles of expansion?5
What if women will never be able to thrive WITHIN the patriarchal models and systems available today, because those models and systems are oppressive to us – and therefore undesirable to us?
What if women can lead us into better models of work and business that actually are sustainable and collaborative with all walks of life, all forms of life?
What if there’s something even better than collaboration for the sake of producing an end result? What if we fostered connection with an attitude of being in service to life?
What if women can achieve their dreams WITHOUT putting themselves in a state of crisis? Meaning, what if women could be fully themselves in the workplace? (The first task would be for women to know themselves again, NOT as they’ve been conditioned by patriarchy.)
What if our systems came into balance? If capitalism shifted away from being 100% masculine to being properly balanced with the feminine? And therefore did not ask women to become like men but rather truly made space for women?
We’ve seen the results of patriarchy. It’s everywhere, written all over our world. It is manifest in every structure we’re embedded within. These structures might feel fixed. Some might say they feel natural. We’ve intellectualized capitalism to the point where it makes sense in our heads. But in our bodies and souls, in the marrow of our bones, we all know it’s absurd. It’s completely unsustainable. We know a better future is possible.
Current leaders try to solve these feelings of dissent by hiring more women and calling it “equal.” It doesn’t work like that though. Yes, please hire more women. But then honor the way women naturally cycle and flow through time and life. This might mean a lot more flexibility and flow, less control and authoritative ideas about productivity. This might mean some days of rest so that we come back stronger with deeper insights about what’s truly needed. This might lead to more dynamic environments than we’ve ever seen. Like a forest where many different life forms coexist, and new life forms spring up spontaneously. Which is far different than a forest where trees are planted in lines and rows, and very little spontaneous creativity occurs.
The goal is not to tell women to override their femininity in order to embody masculinity. The goal is for masculinity to stop burning down the world, to allow the embers of femininity can alight and shine again. So that the two can burn side by side as they are designed to.
Will society crumble? Subconsciously we all fear change, even when we know change is necessary, because the unknown feels unsafe. Our ego tries to save us from being obliterated. So we clasp onto what we know, even when it’s an expired way of being.6 That’s why it’s important to ask a different set of questions.
Is society thriving now?
No, it’s pretty much crumbling already.
Could society begin to thrive if we aligned ourselves with the rest of life?
Maybe, since the rest of life seems to be thriving.
Are we willing to try? To be curious? To let curiosity and wonder lead us out of our paralyzing fear and resistance to change?
Everything goes through cycles, everything. And at some point in every cycle there comes a time for surrender.
I reflect back on that walk with my neighbor. I’ve thought about our conversation a lot. Sometimes I wish I would’ve pushed our conversation further despite her unease. I wish I’d said, Oh but we do know a lot about our menstrual cycles. And we absolutely should!
It’s our cycle after all. Our internal rhythm. The way we sync with the world. The way we flow. The way all life flows. It’s not a curse. It’s a gift. A marvel. It has so much to teach us. It has so much to teach the world today. In fact, it might be the thing that saves us.
Right now, there are desperate attempts by big corporations to hold onto control and power.7 Have you heard about NIKE blaming their lack of innovation on remote workers? They’re forcing people back into the offices 9-5 every day because they claim they can’t collaborate digitally. Because their bottom line is suffering, they’re going back to rigid ways of working. They don’t care about the time and money people spend commuting. Or the mental effects of sitting in traffic. Certainly not the environmental effects of traffic and big corporate infrastructure. And what about people’s families? Children will have to spend more time separated from parents, often in stressful environments. Children will be rushed through mornings and evenings, kept in front of screens when they need attention, required to keep their parents’ work schedules that are still based on outdated perceptions about productivity.
When I first heard about NIKE’s move, my immediate thought was, they’re trying to thin our their female ranks. So I did a little research. Turns out that women are 26% more likely to work from home.8 Makes sense given the intrinsic needs of women – and the fact that women still carry most of the parental responsibility and household care on top of full-time jobs. So is NIKE’s recent mandate a passive aggressive way of getting women to quit?
I’m experiencing it right now too. Coming off of maternity leave, I was prepared to negotiate more work-from-home days. I have three young children, including a baby. We are moving to a new home that’s further away from the city, which means longer commute times. Also, I’m not productive in the office. It’s not a place where I feel creative. So I end up working in my ‘off time’ as I move through life. Which means there’s no time left for my own creative work. This leads to being simultaneously overworked yet bored with everything. It leads to burnout. Despite all of this, I was told that the rules at my company are tightening. That we’re expected to be in the office even more, because its good for productivity. I work for a financial institution by the way, where men far outweigh the women on leadership teams. When I first started, I thought I could be part of change. We run an equality campaign every year, championing the role of women in finance and society. It’s one of the more “progressive” financial institutions in the country. But, again, this is the problem with our current understanding of “progress.” Bringing women to the table isn’t enough if they’re being held to old standards, to masculine ways of being and operating, if all they hear is “business is business.”
It’s no wonder that most leadership teams are male. Not because something is wrong with women. Because something is wrong with business.
The planet is saying no. Our bodies are saying no.
Our lives are begging us to start living.
In this post, I’m looking at capitalism through the lens of menstruation. But we could look at through the lens of ANY life cycle or season and come to the same conclusions.
It’s time to shift toward the intrinsic cycles in nature and in our bodies that we’re connected to. Toward a state of balance. A state of flow.
It’s time to find synchronicity with life again – to reclaim it consciously. For women, that must be an embodied process.
Every month, we shed blood, but we also shed what no longer serves us. So let’s shed the patriarchal conditioning we’ve been putting on every morning like an overused, oversized sweater that doesn’t fit, that hangs from our bones and hides our true form. Let’s begin to sow the belief that we’re capable, powerful, and perfectly designed. Our bodies are walking, breathing, dreaming cycles of a highly intelligent, highly creative process we call Life.
Dear woman, you are designed for this.
xx Beth
Kening Zhu explains this brilliantly in Money as a Circle! She also shows it with art. I credit Kening for helping me begin to intellectualize what I’ve been feeling for a while re: money, social media, surviving as an artist, and more.
Harmful Ways Women Feel They Must Adapt in Corporate America by Harvard Business Review.
Why Millennials are Quitting the Rat Race by The Guardian.
Loved this post by Emily McDowell, Is it dumb to quit something i worked to get? which talks about the problem with linear progress. Everything else cycles and spirals. See Spiraling for even more context.
A personal experience with this can be read in Still Water Runs Deep. Works exactly the same in the collective subconsciousness.
There are also desperate attempts by political systems to control the bodies of women. Even in ‘progressive’ countries like the U.S., abortion laws are tightening in some states. Laws to control the innate power of women to create, to choose, to be or not to be.
This stat and more in Remote Working.